Hey MJ’s Morning Medications

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking…” 

       My friend Sue and her family are waiting with Billie who is resting now, slowly letting go of life, slipping toward the reality of God’s Heaven. I remember sitting with my husband in a hospital, waiting with my own mother. Jon’s hand covered mine, his words gently settled me, reminding me that our family was experiencing a sacred process, that it was simply a time to be with it and watch the grace.

        I watched the grace last night before sleep came, talking to Jesus about some of the times I was remembering with Bill and Sue through the years. They’ve been strength to many, tall trees, helping hands, instigators of fun and of projects that fixed houses, bought refrigerators and paid hospital bills. For many years they taught little kids and grownup kids in Sunday school. They laughed and cried with us. Billie made things out of wood and gave them away. Mostly he and Sue gave away a lot of love.

        We all know people like that and we all are people like that. The light of God that seeps into our bones from the beginning and grows, leads us to live and learn and share as we travel the beaten path, treading toward our Heaven.

        This day of waiting, an early morning of luscious night sounds at cool pre-dawn; I continue to watch grace. I am grateful to be able to say I have known the heart of God through Billie, Sue and countless others. Jesus with skin on, watchers of grace.

        Lord, show me. Help me not to miss it.

1 Corinthians 13:12 “Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything, just as God knows me now.” 

        “Learning to live loved…” It’s a phrase I read on page 176 of The Shack, by William P. Young.

        Somehow, it felt profound to me. I was reading while exercising on an elliptical machine and promised myself to remember the page number so I could go back and think it over.

        Maybe we’re all “learning to live loved”, while we are learning to love living, all the while we’re learning to embrace the gift of each imperfect yet beautiful day of life.

        I accept that God loves me, though I can not begin to fathom nor understand that love. The love I have for my family and dear friends gives me a concept of God’s love yet it’s like that poor mirror in scripture.

         I like it that God loves and knows me and I pray that God will persevere in helping me know myself,  growing me up some more, day by day, teaching me to live loved. Yes, I like that.

         For today, Lord, I love living as I’m learning to live loved.

Romans 15:30 “I urge you, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, join me in my struggle by praying…”

        It is early morning as I return to writing. I’ve been wrapped up in physical therapy that consumes much of my time since shoulder surgery a month ago. I accepted the sabbatical and have plunged into the task at hand. The struggle to retrieve full range of motion in my arm takes perseverance. I have faith and believe as I work and see progress.

        Today seemed to be the day to return to writing down the bones of God’s voice. I read a shared epiphany from a struggling friend and felt God’s balm for my own struggle. It also brought to mind struggles of several close friends I’m praying for, along with a little story.

         A butterfly’s struggle to emerge from its cocoon is painful yet needed for the very development in its fledgling wings so that it can become not only beautiful, but strong enough to take flight. If not for the struggle to break forth, the wings would be weak and unable fly. Not to fly would mean to die, to miss all that God intended.

         In the story, a person observing the struggle, thinking to help, tore the cocoon. Its struggle shortened, the poor creature that’d been wrapped in God’s perfect plan, could not sustain life.

        We struggle. There are many questions among us, many tearful utterances and wonderings; do you hear me God? What’s in my future? I am afraid, I can not see how this will work out… On and on go our questions, yet our faces are turned to the face of Christ as we ask.

    Surely we are wrapped up in his arms like the butterfly in its cocoon. We have faith and believe as we work in forward motion. 

       Lord, I’m feeling wrapped up. Thanks. I pray for the safety and care of your cocoon for friends and family.  

Ezekiel 34:26 “…there will be showers of blessing.”

        We bought a watermelon. In my sink, I rubbed my hands over the cool skin of the beautiful rind as water cascaded over it. Somehow it felt like a sacred moment. I was about to take a knife to cut it open, but first I felt gratitude for such a wonder and asked the Lord to bless all the people who had a hand in bringing it to us; from preparing ground, planting seed, all the way to our grocer.

          A day last week our granddaughter Cinda and her friend Ashton were cooking in our kitchen when it started to rain. Cinda dropped what she was doing, grabbed Ashton’s hand and out they ran, dancing in the rain. It struck me as praise to God, joy in the rain, exuberance of youth, fun and beautiful. Grampa and I did not join them, but we did enjoy, and stood by with towels.

         Sacred moments bless us and we have the power to send forth the blessing in showers of love and care.

        When we bless, the blessing seems to be two fold, for I believe part of it stays in our hearts to heal, strengthen and the joy in life spreads.

         Bless my friends and family, Lord, for whom I pray today, in gratitude.

 Mark 6:3 “Beloved children, Jesus said “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” 

        As I write I’m amazed that June is almost gone. We’ve been to the Gulf coast of Florida for ten great days with family and our granddaughter Cinda and her girlfriend were here for 9 fun days. In-between, I’ve seen a new doctor, had an MRI that showed up spurs scraping my left shoulder’s rotator cuff and have a date for arthroscopic surgery on Monday June 30^th. It’s all made for a very busy 1^st month of school being out.

        I cleaned house yesterday, thinking to get things a little more orderly before surgery. I ran across and reread two notes from my dear friend Momma Helen and would like to share with you a little from them. “When we are too busy to spend time listening to God, truly we miss His divine directions.” The second one reads; Beloved children, Jesus said “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31                I’ve been tired and on those in-between days have slept in, later than the usual 4:00 a.m. during school. I’ve also very much enjoyed walking with friends, meeting at a beautiful park between 6 and 6:30. Coming home, I get busy in my day.

        Sigh… What I call my “morning time” has suffered, though I did get some quiet morning time on the white sand of the gulf coast, watching the sun rise and sparkle on the beautiful ocean. So grateful I am that God is with me in the busy days and ever so thankful that I will not be alone in the days ahead of surgery, recuperation and physical therapy. I’m looking for ways to be creative with my quiet time, flexible yet persevering.

        I sense deep within me how integral to my wellness the “coming away” is.

        Thanks for being with me Lord, in the quiet and in the busy.            P.S. My dear friend Sheryl is coming Sunday to spend a few days and help me through the initial surgery. Praise the Lord! Pray for me, please. Grin and hug…mj

Matthew 14:29 “Come,” Jesus said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

        Peter, in absolute faith, got out of the boat and took a few steps upon the water as he reached out to Jesus. Trouble came with fear and he lost his nerve; the wind and the water scared him and down he went. “Lord save me”, he cried out and Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. Matthew 14:30-31 

       Peter always tried. Yes, we saw him fail several times. Perhaps there is where we learn from him best. Peter did not turn away nor did he quit. He kept reaching out.

        It’s only in isolating that I continue to fail, pick my scabs, wallowing in self pity. When I reach out and take the hand, I stand to continue on, and can turn and reach out my hand to another. Helping someone else helps me. If we look closely at scripture, that’s what happens with Peter. God saved him. Then what did Peter do?

        We say, “How can I help, I have no time, no money, I’m ill myself, I’m so busy, I don’t know how. What can I do?” We’re stuck. What’s the answer? First, reach out. Take the hand. Then write someone, make a call, volunteer, clean closets and cupboards and donate what you don’t need. Make a visit, be kind, smile. There’s something and God knows what.

        Often we almost trip over what God has in mind. The first thing is to wake up, really wake up. Sit back, watch, listen and see.

         All around us are ways to engage in life; in our own homes and families, friendships and communities, people hurting in our places of work or church families, lonely people, people a little sicker than you or I, a little more lonely. They have gifts to give us too. It’s about passing that light around. It’s so fun!

        Good morning, Lord. What’s up today?

Isaiah 42:6 “I the Lord will take hold of your hand, keep you and make you to be a covenant for the people and a light.” Isaiah 60:20 “…the Lord will be your everlasting light.”

        Today I heard the words from a friend in the course of a conversation, “Feel the freedom”, and “the chains are in our minds”.

         I called another friend who is having rehab at a hospital some distance away.  It’d been a few days since we’d talked. I felt relief and joy as I experienced the light in her voice, hearing about her progress. As that light transferred to me, felt like dancing in my kitchen in praise to God for her improvement.

         We may not be able to end the cancer, the MS, the relationship problems, the financial stress. We may not ever live in that perfect place, or achieve some elusive goal. May not see the full mountain view we’d hoped for or experience some of the hopes and dreams deposited in the core of our heart.

        But… There is a vista, a place of brightness, belief in goodness and blessedness where we exchange such light as I felt flow between myself and friends today in simple conversations. God does that; uses us to bring his Light to one another.

         We hope to be healed, to be better, to let go, to recover, to have hopes and dreams realized. That’s a normal human response to life. The thing though, that transcends it all; we need the light and we need to be the light. The rest, I believe, will work through.

        I’ll be!

        I’ll be the light of the world. You too. God knows how, when and where. You and me? We just be. Together, we can.

        Oh, it’s beautiful, Lord, your lovely freedom and light. Bless you for breaking our chains with shafts of light you send us, through one another. I’ll be!